The greatest thing we can give someone is the Word of God. This doesn’t mean we have to go around handing out Bibles to people every day. It means holding conversations graciously and with good, Christian etiquette to build up and minister grace to people. As believers, we center our lives around the power of God’s Word. Our thoughts and words can be acceptable to God as we practice Christian etiquette in our conversations. We can do this by applying simple, proven tips like those in the booklet Christian Etiquette, by Dorothy Owens. These tips can help our communication be godly and leave others better for having spoken to us. We will consider three practices to facilitate gracious conversations and give people God’s best: loving with God’s love, being swift to hear, and showing thankfulness as we speak with people.
People will see that we have God in Christ in us when our conversations are full of charity, the love of God.
I Corinthians 13:4:
Charity suffereth long, and is kind….
We show God’s love by being courteous and kind as we speak with people, even when it appears that kindness is not deserved or reciprocated. Genuine change can occur in a person’s heart when they experience the goodness of God. I have seen this type of change when my three-year-old son has not followed the instructions I gave him and is unhappy with the negative result that followed. I want him to genuinely change and experience good, so I speak to him tenderly. I show patience while working with and teaching him and kindly let him know that I forgive him, love him, and know he’ll do better next time. Soon the frown on his face vanishes and he is once again smiling and blessed. Powerful results can come from courteousness and kindness in our conversations!
Another practical way to communicate graciously is to listen with a desire, willingness, and discipline to understand.
James 1:19:
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.
As we quickly give our attention to the other person in the conversation, it encourages them and shows them that we respect and value their perspective. We can stay tuned in to the conversation by avoiding distractions and focusing on what is said. One kindergartener put it this way: “Talking is when you do all of it. Communication is when you listen in between.” Conversations build unity between people as thoughts, ideas, and opinions are freely shared and received.
Lastly, expressing our thankfulness is a powerful tool we can use in conversation to leave people blessed when the conversation is over. When closing a conversation, we can let the other person know that we appreciate them and the time we spent speaking with them. It shows that there was profit from the conversation and we got something out of it. A few examples of how to express this are, “I’m so glad we had this conversation,” “Thanks for talking with me,” or “It was great speaking with you, thank you.” If a conversation was especially powerful, delivering, or memorable, then writing and sending a thank-you note, email, or text afterward may be appropriate. Genuine thankfulness will uplift, edify, and minister grace to the hearer, reflecting the Christ in you and the Word of God in your life.
Our motivation to have gracious, godly conversations is wonderfully expressed by the psalmist in Psalm 19:14.
Psalm 19:14:
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.
Keeping our conversations filled with courtesy and kindness—which show the love of God—as well as attentive listening, and thankfulness, helps them to be acceptable to God. Our thoughts and words can be acceptable to God as we practice Christian etiquette in our conversations, being courteous and kind, being swift to hear, and being thankful and showing it as we speak with people. As we go about our day with these tips in mind, others will see the power of God in the Christ in us and be blessed by the Word of God we hold in the center of our lives. We can leave people better than we find them and better for having spoken with us!